Jeremiah something
Hello there,
So it's been a really long time since I've updated this. And I don't know why, I think it's just in my blood to start writing on or in something and then never finish or forget about it. Ask the dozens of notebooks and journals I have laying around my house. They all have the first few pages written in them but hundreds behind them blank. Ahah.
Everything has been going swimmingly. I've been doing a lot of shooting. I've been doing a lot of experimenting and I've been doing a lot of day dreaming about experimenting other unfamiliar things. And I feel that's a pretty good place to be right now.
However I would also like to say that with a lot of trial and error of new things comes a crap ton of insecurity..."Why don't my photographs look like that." "What am I missing?" "Am I doing this wrong?" "I bet someone could do this better" "Oh my gosh I suck." So on and so for. And it occurred to me that - that is actually probably a phase a lot of photographers go through. I mean it's like this: We're swimming around in a huge lake of competition, I wouldn't consider photography to be such an advanced skill that very few people can pick it up and do it well. Space is tight in this lake. There is new and improved ways to do everything coming out almost yearly. Now a days it's like 4 out of 10 people think they are photographers because they have a canon or nikon DSLR camera. It's like everyone hoping on the band wagon to be a real estate agent pretty soon hardly anyone is actually making good money because it's dispersed among a million people...
But then I remembered a thing I had forgot. God didn't bring me to this so that I could jump in being the best and never have to learn anything. He blazed the trail for me to start but it's up to me to pave the road. So I started to do this thing and I actually really like it because it sets my mind at ease. I start saying this bible verse over and over to myself whenever I'm feeling like I did lowsey on a shoot or things didn't turn out like I hoped they would or just otherwise feeling like I don't know what I'm doing on this path anymore:
So it's been a really long time since I've updated this. And I don't know why, I think it's just in my blood to start writing on or in something and then never finish or forget about it. Ask the dozens of notebooks and journals I have laying around my house. They all have the first few pages written in them but hundreds behind them blank. Ahah.
Everything has been going swimmingly. I've been doing a lot of shooting. I've been doing a lot of experimenting and I've been doing a lot of day dreaming about experimenting other unfamiliar things. And I feel that's a pretty good place to be right now.
However I would also like to say that with a lot of trial and error of new things comes a crap ton of insecurity..."Why don't my photographs look like that." "What am I missing?" "Am I doing this wrong?" "I bet someone could do this better" "Oh my gosh I suck." So on and so for. And it occurred to me that - that is actually probably a phase a lot of photographers go through. I mean it's like this: We're swimming around in a huge lake of competition, I wouldn't consider photography to be such an advanced skill that very few people can pick it up and do it well. Space is tight in this lake. There is new and improved ways to do everything coming out almost yearly. Now a days it's like 4 out of 10 people think they are photographers because they have a canon or nikon DSLR camera. It's like everyone hoping on the band wagon to be a real estate agent pretty soon hardly anyone is actually making good money because it's dispersed among a million people...
But then I remembered a thing I had forgot. God didn't bring me to this so that I could jump in being the best and never have to learn anything. He blazed the trail for me to start but it's up to me to pave the road. So I started to do this thing and I actually really like it because it sets my mind at ease. I start saying this bible verse over and over to myself whenever I'm feeling like I did lowsey on a shoot or things didn't turn out like I hoped they would or just otherwise feeling like I don't know what I'm doing on this path anymore:
"For I know the plans I have for you. Declares the lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
I'm like so in love with that verse and really I think it's because it just makes me feel so protected. You read it and immediately you feel taken care of - like don't worry about this because - I got you. (says the lord) hahah. I don't know many verses yet, in fact it's the first one I've actually committed to memory. But it's helped me so far. And maybe whoever may ever read this, it might help them too. When I first saw this verse it was on the cover of a book laying on someone's desk and I walked by it and just started repeating it over and over. I knew it by heart after like 4 times. And I knew it was Jeremiah. But when I told Shuli about it weeks later, only after seeing it that one time I somehow remembered every bit of it except I said 21:19 and it's actually 29:11. Which to me is pretty funny.
Way after this I found two mugs in Marshall's. One that had that verse and another that had one about hope. I bought both for Shuli for Christmas but in reality I think I bought that one for me. :)
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